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In
the News
Halliburton Rocks for Saddam |
with apologies
to Clement Clarke Moore
 ‘Twas
a week before Christmas all through the White House
Every creature was scurrying, they had captured a louse
Saddam’s future was hung like a chad in despair,
Knowing he’d be ridiculed by a network both “balanced and
fair.”
Rush Limbaugh was nestled, taking his meds,
while GOP victory meant just counting heads.
Dubya in his flight suit and I catching a nap
Had all but forgotten our “credibility gap.”
Down in the war room, there arose such a clatter,
Rove says: “To Dean, Saddam doesn’t matter.”
Away to the press room, I went with a flash,
Grabbed a reporter, told him Dean to bash.
Reporters can’t be trusted, they don’t know their role,
Just like that Times fellow, they’re just a bigtime a*hole.
However, in this administration if they value their beer,
They know that in this White House to stand up and cheer.
For the cost of a screwdriver, a taunt and bloody prick,
We bought us a headline, good news, what a trick!
More shocking and awful than an Iraqi mission not sane,
All things warm and wonderful was the people’s refrain:
Now Braun! Now Kerry!
Now Kucinich and Sharpton!
On Clark! On Edwards!
On Gephardt and Lieberman!
To the top of the polls!
To the bottom of your tush!
Now Dash Away, Dash Away!
Dean once and for Bush!
As headlines after “mission accomplished” did fly,
It once seemed that our trifecta stunk like a pig sty.
Now to the top of our faith-based truths we could resume,
Finally our people, our allies would sing a different tune.
Then in a twinkling our resident “uniter” did sense a goof,
Our twinkling vision for victory might still finally go poof!
Remember Halliburton, Enron — three million jobs lost, never found,
Wal-Mart Nation? Does that appear sound?
Our tax cuts were dressed for the rich by the foot,
For the poor we would trickle down all the soot.
The unwashed masses would so fear the sack,
They’d never know to watch out for their back.
Diversity is a righteous fad in the eye of the beholder,
We can celebrate Log Cabins, while being a compassionate scolder.
Our policies — how they are simple! Queers? They’ll never
marry!
I’ll free the terrorists at Gitmo before I’d let an environmentalist
tarry!
Osama’s bin forgotten, the world has been told,
Saddam’s the cause of 9/11, that story we’ll never fold.
The Patriot Act is freedom, as clear cut as a forest free of trees,
Ashcroft “our redeemer,” the greatest story told America on
its knees.
We’ll cut all remaining taxes, hold Saddam in his
hole,
To all who are against us, for the terrorist, you have absolutely no soul.
To Mr. Dean and other ”Democrats” we say ”Bring 'em
On,"
Like Iraqi insurgents, nattering nabobs of negativism will soon be gone.
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