 |
 |
 |
|
|||||||
|
|
|
|
||||
| Judith Steinberg Confirms He’s Her Man Dean: “I Had Sex With That Woman.” |
|||
|
Dean acknowledged that his “I have a scream” performance could be run only so many times before the digital surface on the cut would wear down. “We don’t want to annoy our journalistic community to a point where they’d be forced to cover ‘boring stories,’” Dean said, “ like the absence of links between Saddam Hussein and Al Quaeda, and the absence of ‘weapons of mass destruction’ in Iraq. “ “Where’s the fun in that?” said a cable news producer who wished to remain anonymous. Wall Street analysts reported that a renewal of the “I Had Sex With That Woman,” story just five years after it was put on ice by the US Senate, would help make the gigantic media companies even more profitable. As a result, the experts predicted, the still struggling economy would get better just in time for the Bush administration to benefit by November. “It’s a win-win situation for everyone, but Dr. Dean and the Democrats,” the analyst said. Experts called upon by rumor specialist Matt Drudge confirmed that DNA evidence and the fact that Dr. Dean and his wife have two kids together, seem to verify the story. Drudge says the GOP is already putting together a team of special prosecutors to retroactively impeach Dean if he wins this year’s election. “But I don’t think we have to worry about that anymore,” Bush’s chief political advisor Karl Rove noted on a piece of Halliburton stationery. Other political experts expressed surprise that any Democrat would continue to have sex — even in the state of matrimony — so shortly after the right-wing juggernaut in the GOP pushed former President Bill Clinton to the edge of political suicide. Attorney General John Ashcroft said the pressure on Dean to admit his guilt increased after it was revealed that the Dean bedroom both at home and on the campaign trail was bugged with the help of the Patriot Act. “Apparently some folks have not read deeply enough into the act to recognize that there’s a provision that anyone who performs unpatriotically, such as criticizing the Bush administration,. “or menacingly — such as making loud guttural sounds with the assistance of a microphone — is defined as terrorism under the Patriot Act,” Ashcroft says,” and can be subject to wiretaps, thumbscrews and decapitation by media” Dean for his part was entirely unapologetic. “We’re going to South Carolina, to New Mexico, to Colorado, to Washington, Michigan and California, “he said of his life partner. “Then we’re going to go to the White House and have a wild night of whoopee in the Lincoln Bedroom! Oh Baby!”
|
|||
| Home | Archives | Links | Campaign 2004 | Taking Liberties | About Us Liftingthefog.com is Copyright ©2004 by Barbara Sehr Productions |
|||
In
an effort to turn the campaign around to more serious issues on the eve
of the New Hampshire primary, Howard Dean admitted today that “he
had had sex with that woman, Judith Steinberg.”