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| Halliburton Profits from Adult Prison Films Enterprising Pornography |
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Company officials said recent threats to adult films such as the proliferation of AIDS among some the industry’s top stars had opened up an opportunity for a creative enterprise. The company was also concerned about the future of its profitable operations within Iraq. “We have not had any assurances that the newly liberated Iraq will make use of our food and weapons divisions after the June 30 turnover,” the spokesman said. “However, we know there will always be a place for adult films even in the most fundamental of spiritual environments.” Halliburton said it made use of the additional talent available in Iraqi jails to create an entry in the highly sought “extreme adult prison reality” video market throughout the world. Footage of male and female soldiers both in and out of uniform battering, humiliating and titillating prisoners made for scenes that rated exponential “X’s” in the billion-dollar clandestine marketplace. “Guys just love this footage,” the Halliburton spokesperson said, “it helps that the military has already dehumanized these particular prisoners and made them the twenty-first century equivalent of Nazis.” The relatively tame adult movie industry has recently suffered a decline in its creative product, losing star-studded talent to the inherent hazard of AIDS. Some in the industry were openly wondering where the next generation of talent would be developed, given the health barrier to working in the industry. Halliburton says inmates at the prison were the right answer at just the right time. “It’s like an angel from above came down and rescued not only the industry, but also brought an opportunity for some of the young men of Iraq — especially those wrongfully convicted — to have a future as actors.” Iraqis were paid typical prison wages, according to Halliburton, just as if they had been residents of the Texas correctional facilities. The spokesman denied that they were exploiting the prisoners for profit. “When Saddam was around, he would beat them and torture them — without giving them any wages!” Halliburton says although the rest of the world may be upset and even cringe at the first videos released, initial response in the pornographic film market has been rewarding. “We sold several million of these suckers within just 48 hours after '60 Minutes' advertised them for us,” he noted. He added that the films will mark not only a new era of guaranteed profits for Halliburton, but a new future for the young, underprivileged men and women of Iraq. “Democracy will bring Iraq untold wonders that its citizens had not even imagined under the worst days of Saddam,” the Halliburton spokesman said. |
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Officials
at Halliburton Corp headquarters in Texas sheepishly admitted today that
the recent horrors at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq were actually planned
as a vehicle to diversify the military services company. “We were
trying to get a piece of the $10 billion adult movie market, “says
a company spokesman.