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| Rove, GOP See Bush in Trouble Lieberman Takes Modified Limited Hangout Road |
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| The voters of Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, Oklahoma, Arizona, New Mexico, North Dakota and even Delaware had spoken out in unity. “You’re not a Democrat, Charlie Lieberman,” they had said, pulling the political football away from a once-great political force whose first name they could not even remember. But Charlie — er Joe — Lieberman still had some gas in the tank, gas that was free of Enron and Halliburton pollutants. He still had a Rolodex in this computer age, full of connections that could make Howard Dean’s email box stand up and scream. It was time for Plan B — which stood for Rove! Yes, it was time to learn to spell one Dubya at a time, learn to count his right-wing newspaper endorsements from the Manchester Union-Leader to the Seattle Times. It was time to let the Democrats twist slowly in the wind, and find the RIGHT path to the White House. “I have proven that I can attract Democratic voters, “Lieberman said in the cold, poorly lighted downtown parking garage, just off K Street. “Not too many Democrats, mind you, but I have also proven that I’m not inspiring Democrats to come to the polls like that guy you’re handling now.” “At least the guy we have now is drawing 40 percent plus in the polls,” the man in the dark overcoat said nearly proudly, cold, wintry air spitting out of his mouth. “Which is a lot more than eight percent that you drew.” “That’s eight percent of DEMOCRATS you moron,” Lieberman insisted. “Hell, this guy has proven that Republicans will vote for any pretzel-choking monkey that shows sign of breathing…. Imagine what you can do with eight percent of Democrats adding to that total.” “You can eat pretzels?” the tall man holding America’s badly strapped purse strings, stopped for a minute. “As long as they’re Kosher,” Lieberman replied. “Well, we know you’re with us on the war, you’re with us on tax cuts, but how do you feel about Halliburton? “ “I’d like to get some of that profit sharing,” Lieberman laughed cautiously. “What about your relationship with Al Gore? “The chilling man replied. “I saw picture on the Internet of you sharing a hot tub with Al Gore….” “It was a wardrobe malfunction on Saturday Night Live,” Lieberman replied. “I was told I was going to share that hot tub with Arnold Schwarzenegger.” “I’m glad you’re able to work with Arnold, we may have to call him in next summer just in case we have to recall Cheney from the ticket.” Karl Rove’s smile was beginning to reappear. “He’s going to have to work faster this year, I’m guessing we’ll have a lot less than six weeks available to recall Cheney — and he’ll probably not step aside as easily as Gray Davis.” “I’m even willing to take a second spot on the ticket, “Lieberman spoke up. “ Remember I have the conscience of a conservative and the backbone of a former Democratic Party leader.” “Sounds like just the kind of help we need, “Rove replied. “Have your people call my people and we’ll do a just war.” |
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It
was tough for a good Jewish boy to watch all those Deep Throat movies.
But in his effort to continue the modified limited hangout thing, DeepThroat
would be an important factor. He looked at the screen again, and again
as he prepared for the fateful meeting in the garage. “This makes
Janet Jackson’s wardrobe adjustment seem tame,” Joe Lieberman
exclaimed.