Strasburg, North Dakota- The political wife formerly known as the
"Second Lady" is expected to announce she will join the 2004
ticket led by Connecticut Senator Joseph Lieberman, if the Democrats allow
the conservative lawmaker to wear the label of "right-wing Democrat."
Lieberman says the right-wing label may help him defeat the current occupant
of the White House in the 2004 New Hampshire Republican primary, just
a year away. "Mr. Bush hasn't won a general election outside of Texas,
"Lieberman announced. "It's time I extended his streak to the
Lieberman has spent the hours since his entry into the 2004 Democratic
primary field listening for the supportive voice of his mentor, and America's
longest sitting President-Elect, Al Gore. While the former vice president
has removed himself from the race, Lieberman is now making overtures to
Mrs. Gore. Tipper Gore and Lieberman share a passion for eradicating offensive
music and videos, as well as a taste for moral outrage, Gefilte fish and
moonlit walks through the Chattanooga Mountains. "I draw the line
at lutefisk," Lieberman said.
Tipper Gore and Lieberman share a passion for eradicating offensive
music and videos, as well as a taste for moral outrage, Gefilte
fish and moonlit walks through the Chattanooga Mountains. "I
draw the line at lutefisk," Lieberman said.
With Al spending too much time at home lately, Tipper Gore began to consider
other options. Mrs. Gore, expressed an active interest in applying for
a spot on the Real
Beverly Hillbillies reality show that is now in production. The show
- which will featurean actual Appalachian family exposed to the realities
of modern Beverly Hills -considered Tipper for the Ellie Mae Clampett
role, but finally offered the former second lady a role as Grandma Clampett.
Mrs. Gore politely declined.
Joined by their family values, Lieberman and Gore sat
down together at a Strasburg, North Dakota coffee shop not far from the
Lawrence Welk homestead. Each of them opined about the state of a world
where Ozzie Osborne has been mainstreamed and Donnie and Marie are kept
separate. "Not everything can be the way it is in my favorite Connecticut
town, Stepford, "Lieberman admitted.
The couple had a frank talk regarding Lieberman's assent
to a "hot tub" scene the candidate did with the former vice
president on Saturday Night Live. "I had to do it to assure that
Al would remember me if he ran for President again," Lieberman whispered
across the table to Tipper. "I never felt so cheapened."
Tipper wiped the tears from Lieberman's eyes and assured the Senator that
when he was President he would never have to throw himself on the casting
couch ever again. "I dream of an America where we take the blinders
off and drape the curtains from the halls of the Ashcroft Justice Department
across all of America's video and television screens and unplug the electricity
from its auditorium stages," Tipper noted.
The words radiated in Lieberman's eyes as he began to
hallucinate in a rare North Dakota summer fog, imagining an airplane,
an arriving police escort and Ingrid Bergman. "Here's looking at
you kid," Lieberman recalled the words from memory.
"Of all the presidential campaigns in all the new democracies in
this satanic world, we found each other in this one," Tipper picked
up the spirit.
There was still a final decision left for the new team
as they began their journey down the Primary trail.
"Perhaps we should make a decision on whose name
will lead the ticket?" Lieberman asked Tipper.
"Okay, how about a round of rocks, paper, scissors?"